The hawk lands upon my outstretched arm. I unroll the message affixed to its leg: did you get the email i sent y/n. I angrily throw the note to the ground and the hawk takes wing with an irritated squawk.
I glower at the slumbering city, fists clenched. Suddenly, the sky explodes in a riot of color. I cower in terror but then slowly stand back up as I see the fireworks spell out HEY DID YOU GET THAT BIRD LETTER ABOUT MY EMAIL???
I turn my back on the garish display, trembling with rage. I do not want to attend your baby shower! my mind shrieks. I find them excruciating!
My shoulders slump as I head inside to find out how much it costs to get a onesie that looks like a little tuxedo.
Source: fireland
Last-place Aversion
Wow
The Economist, on a new study on why the relatively poor often oppose raising taxes on the wealthy:
Instead of opposing redistribution because people expect to make it to the top of the economic ladder, the authors of the new paper argue that people don’t like to be at the bottom. One paradoxical consequence of this “last-place aversion” is that some poor people may be vociferously opposed to the kinds of policies that would actually raise their own income a bit but that might also push those who are poorer than them into comparable or higher positions. The authors ran a series of experiments where students were randomly allotted sums of money, separated by $1, and informed about the “income distribution” that resulted. They were then given another $2, which they could give either to the person directly above or below them in the distribution.
In keeping with the notion of “last-place aversion”, the people who were a spot away from the bottom were the most likely to give the money to the person above them: rewarding the “rich” but ensuring that someone remained poorer than themselves.
*puts on dubstep remix that samples “Banana Phone” and a Russian numbers station*
Welcome 2 My Lair, Bro. *tosses u a Capri (Sun, natch)* Let’s Do Some Butt Stuff.
Source: notveryraven
The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
God isn’t real, but Richard Dawkins is kind of a douche about it.
Source: quicksummary
Veal Chop!: my last-year real life on a blog
The Text
Him: “What’s up”The Analysis
K: I don’t think it’s that much of an exaggeration to say that people who only text “what’s up” all the time should be banished to an island that is slowly sinking.
B: He sends this text to me every couple of weeks, on Friday…
Source: idhaveyouanytime
FernGully: The Last Rainforest
Australian loggers free Tim Curry from a shitty looking tree, and he sings songs and is generally awesome until some bullshit fairies seal him up in a newer, bigger tree. Robin Williams co-stars as Robin Williams.
Source: quicksummary
Photo post
LIZ LEMOOOOOOON
MANLY KINDNESS, apparently
Esquire presents their ‘25 skills every man should know’
Basics like jump-starting a car and filleting a fish you should know already. Tips like chopping down a tree and skinning a moose are kinda badass. The pastry chef metaphor for pleasing a woman
The theatrical flourishes and jabs you’ve learned from your trusty porn are like that: the frosting on the frosting. A good pastry chef uses his nibs sparingly and aims foremost for a thick, smooth application. […] Go slowly, be sedulous and heedful, and don’t stop until the cake is done.
tickles me. But this? Really? I get the idea, they’re trying to show that empathy is part of this straight-razor using, shoe-shining, Tom Waits-y gentleman gestalt, but comparing a crying woman to “a wounded animal”? Poo poo, sirs. Poor taste. Makes me think of Jimmy Stewart saying “sweetheart”
Console a Crying Woman
Keep a handkerchief on your person. A clean one, since it’s not for you. It’s for the crying woman.
When you encounter the crying woman (and she needs to be sobbing as if she’s been hurt — never approach a woman who is merely weeping or teary), approach her as if you’re advancing on a wounded animal that might still be able to bite — slowly, thoughtfully. Pull out the handkerchief.\
Say: “I’m sorry to disturb you, but is there anything I can do to help?”
Whether she responds or not, offer the still-folded handkerchief. Point out that it’s clean. This should make her laugh.
If she hasn’t yet told you to go away (and if she tells you to go away, do so immediately), ask what you might specifically be able to do: stay with her, call the police, listen to her problems, tap dance.
Proceed according to her wishes until she says she’s fine. Tell her to keep the hanky.
Source: coudal.com
