2012
I awake on New Year’s Day to discover my fingers stuck in ten different vodka bottles. They make a terrible clatter as I somehow manage to don my kimono emblazoned with a .44 Magnum Colt Anaconda and the words I WILL DESERT STORM DAT ASS in Papyrus. I wait for my boner to subside and then go outside to greet 2012. The wintry air is invigorating upon my boner which did not subside. The year stretches out before me like a gay magic scroll, its enchantments yet to be written.
[…]
» Rating: GOTTA BE TEN SEXY LADIES, MY MAIN MAN. I’M CALLING IT.
Source: tensexyladies
Econ Professor Trying To Lecture 300 People Who Don’t Pay Their Own Car Insurance
Source:
It is utterly insufficient (to eat pie only twice a week), as anyone who knows the secret of our strength as a nation and the foundation of our industrial supremacy must admit. Pie is the American synonym of prosperity, and its varying contents the calendar of the changing seasons. Pie is the food of the heroic. No pie-eating people can ever be permanently vanquished.
Racial determinism, geo-political history, gender disparity, and the law of man as viewed through the lens of pie.
(via nomchomsky)
Source: nomchomsky
Madame, your public has spoken. There is a dire need for your skills in St Petersburg. Go. They have chandeliers in the subways and caviar on tap. All the blini you can eat. Bear steaks.
A dating show about a bachelor who must choose between thirty beautiful women. Each week he goes on a series of dates with the women and things are going well for a while and then he shows them his webbed foot and explains to them that the deformity is the reason he keeps his socks on during intercourse, and then the women no longer want to be intimate with him, but they tell him it’s because they’re stressed about their jobs and not because he has a webbed foot, so he sits in the limo by himself, alternately masturbating, napping, and crying. (Possible titles: You Are Going to Die Alone, Love is a Lie Created by the Greeting Card Industry in a Joint Partnership with Lord Voldemort, Come Back, Amanda… Please.)
Source: mcsweeneys.net
The current surge in children’s literature has been fueled by talented young female novelists fresh from M.F.A. programs who in earlier times would have been writing midlist adult fiction. Their novels are bought by female editors, stocked by female librarians and taught by female teachers. It’s a cliché but mostly true that while teenage girls will read books about boys, teenage boys will rarely read books with predominately female characters.
Boys Don’t Read; Clearly Women are to Blame in the NYTimes (via pinwheeling)
#won’t someone write books about boys for the love of god #too bad there aren’t any books about the trials of male young adulthood #man maybe they should add obscure titles like tom sawyer huck finn hamlet lord of the flies and catcher in the rye to every reading list in the country i don’t know why they don’t teach these books in schools!
(via brocreate)
(via burtmacklin)
Source: pinwheeling
The day after we made cinnamon rolls we remembered that there was some duck rillettes in the fridge. We loved the idea of buttery brioche and rich duck and so it was a small leap to filling our dough with the rillettes and topping the rolls with sweet/bitter orange marmalade
Put an egg on it.
