McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: List: Old People’s Internet Providers.
imgoingtokilljeffreyforgettingusinvolvedwiththismishegas.com
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.
Source: texburgher
Now it’s time for the wax. Light a red candle. Wait until enough wax has melted so you can drip… drip… drip it onto an envelope that you and your partner will seal together with a special letter seal that you bought at a Renaissance Faire.
Squiiisssshhhhh!
That was the sound of the seal hitting the wax. Sealing your pleasure letter. Oh, look, what’s that over there? A whip?
Wiiiiissssshhhh!!! SNAP!
That was the letter going into the mailbox! Better leave the whip alone. Looks dangerous.
How to Pleasure Your Partner (via McSweeney’s)
Hits the nail on its sexy, sexy head
Source: mcsweeneys.net
Treat yo self.
Cherry crumb pie, vanilla ice cream, both homemade. Good weekend.
Donut muffins
Seinfelt: The Hot Water
Kramer bursts into Jerry’s apartment to show him the hair, but is surprised to find an impossibly enormous, dark room. He grabs a flashlight from his own apartment and rushes back to hunt for his friend. Tying the end of his hair to the doorknob as a tether, he begins his expedition. After hours of searching, he finally spots Jerry in the distance.Elaine dates a guitar virtuoso, thrilled by the potential of his “magic fingers”, but is disappointed when the man refuses to interact with her using his hands out of fear of a career-wrecking injury.Jerry is thrilled to see Kramer approaching, his first sign of human contact in almost three hours. He hollers excitedly, waving his flashlight around and jumping up and down. Kramer jogs toward him, a relieved smile on his face, suddenly collapsing into a bloody pile of chunks.
LOVING these synopses of absurdist Seinfeld episodes. This one speaks to me, but I think my favorites are ones that feel so very much like the awkward, clever little twists that made Seinfeld what it is. such as “George dates a woman whose voice sounds exactly the same as his own.” (The Resonance) and “After years of practice and dedicated yoga training, Kramer finally manages to sneeze with his eyes open.”
